Tuesday, 15 September 2015

It is not enough to be a good person.

The attentive audience at our meeting at the Rainbow Theatre.

This week in our meeting we spoke about the difference between being a good person and a faithful person. Although initially, it may seem like the two are almost synonymous, as the meeting progressed we found that not to be the case.

Many people aim to be good people, but they are not faithful. They show themselves one thing at work, at church, in public, but when they are hidden from scrutiny, they are another person. Many spend the whole day portraying a very friendly person at work, smiling and being kind, but as soon as they cross their door at home, a different person comes out - one who screams, fights and is rude. What happens to that good person they were the whole day? Fact is, he or she was good, but not faithful.

Are you a two faced person?

Claudia Brito sharing her story.
A person who is two faced isn't faithful to her principles. Although she knows the difference between good and bad, she is not faithful to those beliefs. She will be good to avoid bad consequences for herself or to gain favours, but when she has an opportunity to show who she truly is, without any fear of consequences, her principles do not hold, because she is not faithful to them. 

To give a clear example of what being faithful to your principles and beliefs means, Claudia Brito told a story of when she went to pick up her young daughters at school one day and found one of them badly scratched in the face. Like any mother, she wanted to defend her daughter and punish the culprit. She immediately went to the Principal's office, to understand what had happened. She found out that a young girl got upset when she heard her younger daughter telling her older one that she loved her. Out of jealousy, the girl scratched her older daughter.

Claudia requested to speak to the child and after a lot of resistance, the Principal allowed the two to speak. When the child walked in, Claudia knelt down before her, looked her in the eye and told her she loved her. The scared little girl broke down in tears and the two hugged. The girl was so touched, she didn't want to let go of that hug. That was the beginning of a close relationship between the two. 

Claudia's beautiful daughters, Priscila and Patricia,
when they were young.

Faithfulness requires conviction

Claudia later found out that the girl's parents had recently divorced and she was living with a very difficult grandmother. Claudia was then able to bond with this little girl and help her through a tough time in her life. 

How was she able to put aside her anger as a mother and reach out to a girl she didn't even know? It was because she was faithful to what she believed - helping people. 

Faithfulness requires loyalty, integrity, trust, sacrifice, obedience and much more. It runs deep inside of you. It requires a conviction to your principles. This conviction causes you to put your principles and beliefs in practice, no matter the cost. You do not fear any consequences or measure any sacrifice.

When you are a faithful person, you join a league of a select people and your value as a person rises, as you attract and are attracted to others who are faithful. It's not enough to be a good person, be faithful to your beliefs and principles!

Monday, 14 September 2015

Join us for an unmissable meeting for parents and children.

Apollonia Hango and her lovely daughter, Taimmy Hango.
My name is Apollonia Hango. My daughter, Tammy, and I were always close to each other. Being the only girl that I have, she was always my precious, little girl. We did everything together. She would share everything with me - her joy, her fears and her worries. We were a close knit family. 

We worried about her future

Unfortunately things started changing when she turned 16. She began to distance herself from her dad and me. She became quieter and more secretive, and even her moods changed.

My daughter started joining bad company and this not only affected her relationship with us, but her education as well. We were summoned to her school, as her teachers also began to worry about her future.

She ran away from home

One day she decided to run away from home to go and stay with friends, strangers that we have never met. For weeks we had no idea where she was. This brought a lot of pain to the family. That's when I decided I'd had enough and I decided to put her life in God's hands. I could not stand by and watch my family breaking.

Beautiful Taimmy Hango on her graduation day.
Within weeks of faithful prayers, things started changing. She called us for a conversation and decided to come home. She apologised for the pain she had caused the family and that marked the beginning of her change. Her grades started improving, and when she sat her O level exam, she was one of the top students, scoring As and Bs. She enrolled in university and did well. She is now a graduate and working, and we are so proud of her!

As for our friendship, we are now best  friends. We enjoy our mother and daughter time, going out together for our lunches and shopping. 

The two of us would like to invite you to a special meeting, on the 20th of September, at 6pm, at the Rainbow Theatre, London, N4 3NX. Meetings like these help us to continue building and improving our relationship. This particular meeting will be for parents and children to learn how to consolidate their relationship. Don't miss it!

Saturday, 12 September 2015

Did you know the best salt for you is pink?

With its pink colour, this is a salt that has been made for us women, right? The Himalayan salt, also called pink salt, is a sea salt found on the world's highest mountain range - the Himalayans. It is believed to be the purest salt to be found on earth. 

It is so valuable that thousands of years ago, it was used as a currency system and was prized more than gold. The salt has a number of benefits and today we would like to share some with you.

It contains 84 minerals

Taking the sea salt is like taking an injection of vital minerals which you do not find in other sea salts and table salt. 

It helps your body detoxify

It works hand in hand with the water in your body and allows your body to carry absorb toxins from your cells to your bloodstream and eventually ejects them out of your body. The pink salt is more efficient as a carrier than traditional salts, because it hasn't been refined and chemically stripped.
It lowers your blood pressure

Because it is absorbed into your bloodstream much more efficiently and more effectively than regular, processed salt, the pink version can be used in small doses to help lower your blood pressure drastically and stimulate better circulation.
It can help you sleep better

When your mind is at ease and your muscles are relaxed, sleep better and more regularly. By switching to pink salt, you’re going to be improving the condition of both your body and mind. Not only that, you’re also going to be giving yourself every substance you will need to replenish and restore your energy levels overnight during your sleep!

Friday, 11 September 2015

AAY 012 - The Power of Influence

Here is this week's All About You studio chat and today we are visited by a special guest, who shares her experience with a bad friendship, which influenced her negatively. Find out how she overcame this emotionally abusive friendship.

Thursday, 10 September 2015

My journey through menopause - Part 2 - A tale by Talents Rathebe.

I found this picture on the Internet and couldn't help laughing when I saw it.  I think it pretty much explains some of the changes my body went through because of the imbalance or fluctuation of hormones. 

I have to admit that I'm very excited with this series of blogs, because I could see that many of you can relate to it. Generally, this is a taboo subject. Many women don't want to talk about it, let alone think about it. But, understanding what happens to our bodies can help us prepare for the future or even deal with the present. 

This is why I decided to share my story, so I wouldn't go on this journey alone. As I mentioned in last week's blog, a lot of the symptoms we go through can be alarming, so I chose to go into detail, so you may understand the symptoms and I can share with you how I deal with mine.

Mrs Sweaty...

Talents, aka Mrs Sweaty sharing her journey of menopause
Hot flushes are horrible, they can come at anytime of the day or night. I now know when they're coming, but I can’t stop them. It feels like a warm heat starting from my upper chest. Can you imagine wearing your favourite perfume, smelling so good, suddenly your body starts over heating, then you become completely covered in sweat, then the body cools down, the sweat becomes cold and you start shivering? 

You look around every body else looks just fine, then you go like, "Is it cold in here or it’s just me?" And friend, you find out, yes, it's just you! No one understands anything you are going through and the look in their faces says it all... oh my, it's hilarious!

Sometimes it’s not hot but cold flushes I suffer from. I will never forget last year, right at the end of winter, I decided to buy a heater, because I felt like the ones in the house were not hot enough. I wanted the portable one, so I could take it with me everywhere I went. I could go from one room to another without disturbing my wonderful hubby. One day, he walked in the house, while I was with friends and said, “ Be careful, my wife will cook you alive." We laughed so hard and until today, that memory always chases Mrs Grumpy away. These are but a very few examples.

My Treatment

Talents and her patient son, Romeo Rathebe.
The last thing on my mind is to torture people around me, but the flushes suffocate me and I end up gasping for air. But, thank God, there are things I can do to minimize these symptoms. My doctor prescribed me some hormone replacements and vitamins, and I watch my diet very carefully. It's very important to visit your GP so you can receive a proper diagnosis and treatment.

But, what I've been relying on the most is my faith. I know menopause is a normal process for women, but I never make excuses for they way I feel or behave. I refuse to use it as an excuse to manipulate others, be nasty or impolite to those around me, just because I'm going through menopause. 

It’s my problem and I have to find ways to deal with it. Sometimes, I need to excuse myself from people and situations. It’s better than making them feel uncomfortable and having to deal with the aftermath of an explosion. We are still in control of our minds and can make the right decisions...most of the time. Yes, some days are hard, but remember, these things don’t last forever. 

Blood is thicker than water

Frank Rathebe helps his wife by being patient and understanding
Your family can be a huge source of support. Once you doctor has diagnosed you, talk to your family and friends about what you are going through, so they may know how to help you. You will be amazed at how understanding they can be, especially in those days when you are not so on top of things. People can’t read your mind or feel what you are going through, so speak out and receive as much help as you can get. 

There is nothing to be ashamed of. As long as you still have breath in you, it means your Heavenly Father still needs you right here in this world, but you can’t do it alone, so cling to Him, make Him your best friend and you will never need to go through this alone. Never forget, how special you are, so value yourself by taking good care of yourself and your health. 

Till next time.....

Monday, 7 September 2015

Do you deserve to get your dreams fulfilled?

This week's meeting was the third session of the second Parts of Me series, in which we are learning how to bring to existence what doesn't exist. Having learned in the last session to differentiate between fantasies and real dreams, how do you then make sure that you will get the desired outcome? The answer is simple!

The law of nature

In life, we reap what we sow. When you plant an orange seed, you will reap an orange tree. This is the basic law of nature. An orange seed will never yield a banana tree. However, we see many women wanting to go against this basic law of nature.

Many are those who are very rude with their husbands, yet expect their husbands to treat them like queens, or those who yell disrespectfully at their children, but expect their children to respect their authority, or who lie to their bosses and expect a promotion. You will only get the dream you deserve. Although fair, this poses a challenge for many. How do you make sure that the seed you are planting will yield good fruit?

Water your land

There is no denying life can be challenging, often leading us to lose hope. Because of the hardships of life, many end up being consumed by negativity. But, negativity is like dry ground. It sucks the life out of your dream. It leads to working hard and reaping nothing out of that hard work. Do not be consumed by negative things such as bitterness, anger, grudges, malice. They are dream-killers. 

Begin watering your land with hope. Cleanse yourself from all the negative things of the past and begin to constantly feed yourself with positive words and positive thoughts. 

Remember, your words have power! They lead to action. When your words are positive, your actions will be positive. And, when your actions are positive, what you plant will be positive and so will what you reap! That is how dreams come true.

Join us at the Rainbow Theatre, N4 3NX, every Sunday at 5pm, for uplifting women to women seminars. For more information, call our 24H helpline on +44 (0)20 7686-6000.

Gaining the respect of your children.

In all relationships there is one thing that is indispensable... RESPECT! This key ingredient makes every relationship successful and cannot lack in the relationship between mothers and children. I believe every mother strives to have the respect of their child. How often have you told them to respect you? But, are you putting the same effort into gaining your child respect? 

Respect is earned not imposed

In order to gain your child's respect, you have to respect them first. Respect is earned not imposed. This does not mean you will agree with everything your child does. We've previously spoken about your important role as a mother of teaching your child the difference between right and wrong, but this needs to be carried out in a respectful way.

You cannot devalue their ideas and their personality. As a mother, you are responsible for raising them, but this does not make you superior over them. You cannot impose your views and opinions on your children.

Respect their differences

Your child is a different person from you, so it is inevitable that at some point, they will have a different opinion from you. Instead of oppressing them, listen to their opinion. Your child also deserves to be heard, just as you do. Weigh their opinions and give them merit. This is how you will model respect for them, teaching them to do the same with others, and you will certainly gain theirs. 

Join us every Sunday after the 10 am service. Let us keep growing together!

Thursday, 3 September 2015

My journey through menopause... A tale by Talents Rathebe.

The lovely Talents Rathebe here to her journey on menopause
I had just turned 40 years old when I arrived in the UK in 2011. I remember being so excited on my 40th birthday and thinking, "Life has just begun!" I had always heard people saying that life began at 40 and I was really looking forward to it. But then, I noticed some strange changes in me as time went by. I started getting hot and cold flushes, depression, mood swings, lack of sleep, gaining weight, forgetting things, anxiety, panic attacks, headaches and extreme tiredness, etc.

A daunting experience

Experiencing these sort of symptoms can be very daunting. You begin feeling like something is wrong with you, especially if you don't know what is causing all the symptoms. I was very confused. I had never felt like this before and I began thinking that something was wrong with me as a person. Little by little, I began isolating myself from my friends and loved ones. How could I expect anyone to understand me, if I didn’t understand myself either? 

Going through menopause

I landed at my GP’s surgery, in tears and so confused. I always took care of myself, physically and spiritually,  so how could I be dealing with unexplained insomnia and mood swings? Wasn't that supposed to be associated with spiritual problems? One minute I was happy and the next minute I was creating a storm in a tea cup. The worst of all was feeling anxious. This drove me crazy! Well, I found out I was going through menopause, which explained the symptoms I was feeling. 

If you are going through your menopause, you are not alone and there’s absolutely nothing to be ashamed of. There are things that you can do to make things more bearable for yourself. Join me next week as I tell you what I've been doing, which has been working for me. Together, we can do this!

Tuesday, 1 September 2015

Lending a helping hand.

This week's meeting was filled with good news as we looked back at everything we have learned in the month of August. Some women who attend our meetings shared how their lives were changed for the better when they chose to apply what they learned in our meetings. Watch as Sibon shares how, after she learned the difference between a fantasy and a real dream, she managed to bring to existence a dream of going to gain work experience at a law firm in New York.

Sibon Phiri - from our Nottingham branch

We finalised our meeting with another important lesson. We live in a culture of self-help. It is common nowadays for people to invest in themselves by reading books, listening to motivational tapes or even participating in meetings such as ours. This is by no means a bad thing, as this is how we develop as people.

Pay it forward

But, in focusing on receiving help for ourselves, we can sometimes tend to forget that there are others around us, who may need our help. Helping and sharing with others is an important part of our development as human beings. Who has never had to hear from his or her parents about the need to share one's toys?

This is because we are born with a nature that is self-absorbed. We can easily become the centre of our own worlds, and forget that others exist around us.

This week we encouraged the women who were present to take what they receive in our meetings and extend it to others. One word of encouragement that you share with someone could mean the difference between life and death. Have you been paying attention to your neighbours, work colleagues or distant relatives? Instead of keeping your distance, why not get to know them better, so you may be available for them, should they need help? Be a positive part of their story!

Our friendly advisers are always available to talk to you, should you need a listening ear. Book an appointment with one of us by contacting us on rahab@uckg.org. Do not suffer in silence!

Monday, 31 August 2015

What to do when your children face problems.

Mothers in Prayer Group in our branch in Willesden Green
One of the most difficult things we mothers have to face is witnessing our children go through a hard time. Our maternal instincts kick in and we want to spare and protect them. But, unfortunately, difficulties come to everyone. So, how can you as a mother deal with your children's problems?

Compassion vs Sorrow

Ruling out indifference, we find that there are two ways we mothers can react when our children face problems - we can either feel sorrow or compassion towards them. What is the difference?

Sorrow is a feeling of deep distress caused by misfortune, and compassion is a  feeling of deep sympathy for another who is stricken by misfortune, accompanied by a strong desire to alleviate the suffering. What makes them different is sorrow is just a feeling, but compassion makes you want to take action against the problem. 

Be compassionate

We mothers generally have a sixth sense when it comes to our children and this intuition can often alert us that something is wrong, without them needing to say

a word. What should you do when you detect a problem? 

Times like these call for action. First of all, you should remain objective to understand what their problem is, without allowing your feelings to cloud your judgment. Practicing the communication skills we taught you will come in handy, should you need to have a conversation with your child about what's going on. 

Don't take over

Once you've identified the problem fully, the next step is to figure out how you can help your child, without taking over. Remember, you still want to teach them to be independent, so you don't want to solve problems for them, but guide them to solve their own problems under your careful watch.

There are situations in which you'll be able to help, guide or support them, but there are others in which you will not be abel to do anything about their problem. In cases like these, you can help them through your prayers and being next to them.

And is this act of faith and love that the mothers are putting in practice this week, we are going to do something to help our children instead of lamenting. 

We invite you to join us this Sunday after the 10:00am service to learn a new revelation. 

Friday, 28 August 2015

Did you know an ice bath can dry your nail polish faster?

There is nothing more annoying than spending a long time to apply your nail polish only to have it smudged at the end, because it didn't dry properly. So, how can you make sure you nail polish dries quickly on those days when time is not on your side? 

 Giving your nails in a dip in a bowl filled with iced water will dry them faster. Nail polish dries quickly in colder temperatures. So, the colder the water is the quicker your polish will dry. 

Putting Hands in the Freezer

Although this method will probably add numbers to your electric bill, the cold can thicken the polish while the circulating air evaporates the solvent.

Using a blow dryer or fan

Your blow dryer can dry more than your hair. Blow your nails using your dryer's coldest setting and they will be dry in no time! Just go easy on the potency settings, because you don't want to blow ripples into your polish.

Spraying your nails with cooking spray

Spray your nails completely with your cooking spray will have them dry fast. But, there should be a propellent in the list of ingredients. The propellent evaporates and drains the liquid in your nail polish faster. Let the spray sit for a minute or two, and then wash your hands of the oil. 

Thursday, 27 August 2015

Recognise your strength.

Daiane Docothé and husband Tiago Decothé.
I remember hearing my teacher speak about the trajectory of a sperm once during a science lesson and it left me completely in awe. This made me look at myself differently and understand that nature begins as nature intends for us to proceed in life.

You were born a victor

Among millions of sperm, only one is able to successfully fertilize the egg in order for you to be born, defeating millions of contenders. How is it that someone who is born a victor can feel so defeated later on in life?

We see many people who are tired of living, some even contemplating suicide, because of the many difficulties they face. But, facing difficulty and overcoming is what you were born to do. Question is, in moments like these, how do you tap in this source of strength that you possess inside of you?

A source of strength

In a chase to fertilise the egg, the sperm cannot be distracted by the million problems around it. It's only focus is one, reaching the end - its focus is on the solution and not the problem. When things overwhelm you, shift your focus from what is going wrong and start focusing on what you would like to conquer. Live your dream day and night and do something towards it every day. Soon, victory will follow.

By Daiane Decothé.

Join us every Sunday at 5pm, at the Rainbow Theatre, N4 3NX, for meetings that will empower you and inspire you to reach your goals.

Tuesday, 25 August 2015

Understand your value as a woman.

This week's meeting was all about exclusive brands and expensive fruit. We asked our audience the following question: remembering your visit to the mall, how often have you set foot in the Prada store? Yet, how often do you visit other reasonably priced stores? 

Among all present, only one shared to have entered the Prada store once and came out without buying anything.

Why is it we never even bother going into these stores? It is because we know we can't afford to buy anything in the store. Only those who are willing to pay the price the store offers venture in.

You are of high value

The same should apply to you as a woman. You are of a high value, an exclusive property, and the men who show an interest in you should recognise that and be willing to pay a high price for you. However, this has not been the case with many women. 

With many, all it takes to win them over are a few words of flattery. "You're so beautiful. You make my heart race so fast. I'm crazy about you. Will you go out with me?" And, boom! That's it. She has fallen. 

Be exclusive - you are worth it!

While living in Japan, Claudia Brito remembers coming across a special bunch of grapes - the Ruby Roman grapes. The Telegraph recently reported of someone who paid  £5,000 at an auction for a bunch of these grapes. 

Claudia mentioned that in the supermarket, one was not allowed to even touch or smell these grapes. They were separated from the rest of the fruit. They were exclusive. In order to touch them or smell them, you had to buy them.

Make yourself similarly exclusive as a woman. When you make yourself easy to conquer, you also make yourself easy to discard. But, if a man has to work hard to conquer you and pay a high price for you, he will also value you as you value yourself. 

We are by no means putting price tags on us as women, just using simple analogies to drive the point home that when you realise how valuable you are, your standards rise and you inspire those around you to do the same and respect your value. 

Cheers to all valuable women out there!

Monday, 24 August 2015

How to communicate effectively with your children.

Dear mums, these last few weeks we have been learning about effective communication with our kids. As parents, our main goal is to make sure our kids understand what we are communicating to them and vice versa. Bearing in mind that children are all different, we need to respect their personalities and not force them to be like us or do things like we do. Understanding their personality helps us relate to them in an appropriate way. For example, if your child is easily distracted, you know that long talks will not do, because he or she will lose focus along the way, so the best way is to get creative and use analogies he can relate to, which will make him or her understand your point a lot quicker. 

Different ways of communicating

But today we want to stress that communication is much more than talking. We can communicate in many different ways:
  • Through listening - making sure we understand what is being communicated to us.
  • With gestures of affection - affection screams love; it reassures our children.
  • Showing interest in what they like - it makes them feel like an important to you.
  • Being sincere - it will help them to learn to respect boundaries.
  • With our eyes and expressions - remember, our faces paint a picture!

When we manage to have this kind of relationship with our children, we will be the first person from whom they will seek help or come to clear any doubt. Effective communication leads to trust, respect and admiration.

Mothers in Prayer Group in Croydon.
Every week, the Mothers in Prayer Group gets together to learn how to give our best to our children. Join us in practicing this week's lesson and take time  to talk and listen to your child(ren) this week. And, come to share the results with us this Sunday, at the Rainbow Theatre, after the 10:00am service. See you there!

Saturday, 22 August 2015

Did you know full-fat dairy is healthier for you that low-fat?

When many people think of maintaining a healthy life-style and a trim waistline, they tend to opt for semi-skimmed, low-fat or 0% fat dairy products, but recent studies are proving that full-fat dairy isn't the monster many think it is. Data from 16 different studies prove that people who eat whole fat dairy have a lower risk of developing obesity, type 2 diabetes or heart diseases. 

You lose important vitamins

Milk contains vital vitamins such as Vitamin A and Vitamin D, but what you may not know is that these are fat soluble. 

That means, your body needs fat to absorb them. Without the fat, they get flushed out of your system or out of the milk during processing.

You tend to eat more

Although it is true that reduced-fat dairy has few calories, it is not as filling as whole fat. So, many people continue to fill hungry after eating low fat dairy and this may lead to eating or drinking more to get yourself fuller, which will also increase the calorie intake. 

High sugar content

Although the grams of fat per serving may be reduced in reduced fat products, the sugar content is usually higher than the sugar content in whole fat products, so you end up consuming more sugar, leading to a rise in your blood sugar level.

Change your mentality

Now, instead of a skinny latté, ask for whole milk. It's even better when you make your own coffee at home. Opt for whole milk yoghurt, instead of the low-fat version, and for butter or ghee instead of margarine or butter spreads, and no reduced fat cheese either.

Happy healthy living!

Friday, 21 August 2015

AAY 009 - Cinnamon, Apple and Walnut Cake

On this week's All About You, Claudia Brito and Raquel Ouverney sit down with Love Talk Presenter, Helena Marques, who shows us how to make a delicious Cinnamon, Apple and Walnut cake and gives us the The Recipe for Love. Yummy!

Thursday, 20 August 2015

What to do when you fall.

Article by Moti Bernardino
Although this happened more than four years ago, I can still remember it as clearly as if it were yesterday.

I was out and about in a park, when all of a sudden I heard this loud thud behind me, then a woman panicking over a crying baby. A few of us gathered around her, watching her fuss over her crying son, while the father watched the scene attentively. After a few minutes of watching in silence, the father just couldn’t take it anymore. It was now his turn to deal with the situation.

Over in a few seconds

He set the mother aside from the scene and called the child by name, so he could look at him. With a stern voice, he asked him, "Why are you crying? Dry your tears, you’re fine!" The child stopped crying immediately and did as he was told. Then the father told the mother to get on the bike and the two rode off again, as if nothing had happened. In a few seconds he defused that whole situation and brought a solution.

Crying will not change anything

What was his secret? Conviction! He did not allow his emotions (his worry) to get the better of him. He knew his child was fine and saw no need to keep feeding those emotions. And, that's what what we need to do when we fall in life. There will be times in our lives when problems will come our way, we’ll make mistakes and go through painful experiences. The longer you feed your emotions, concentrating on the problem, the longer you remain in that problem. What you need is to separate your emotions from the problem, assess what you to do in order to solve it, and put all your efforts into solving it. Crying will not change anything. 

We were all born with an incredible instinct of survival! It is just clouded sometimes by emotions. Let the survivor inside of you come out! Don’t give up on your dreams. Don't be defeated. Even if you were set back by a fall, dry off your tears and continue with your journey to success! 

If things are difficult for you and you can't do it by yourself, here's a promise you can count on... (Psalms 50:15)

Tuesday, 18 August 2015

When is violence allowed?

We've grown up learning that violence is not the solution to any problem and that we should avoid it at all costs, but in this week's meeting, we challenged the ladies present to be violent. Question is, when is violence allowed?

A vicious cycle

When you find yourself regretting, but keep going back to the same mistake, over and over again, it's time to get violent with yourself. You promise yourself you'll never watch pornography again, but a month later, there you are again, watching it. Then you start feeling guilty and you decide to stop, but a few weeks later, there you are again. This vicious cycle will never be broken unless you get violent with yourself. 

Deeply rooted habits

Pornography is but one example, there are many situations that warrant the need for violence - an affair with a married man, lying, malicious thoughts against your authorities, grudges, resentment, a hot temper and many more. Normally these bad habits are so deeply rooted, that only a violent action will uproot them. But, what exactly does it mean being violent with yourself?

Don't play nice

Violence is synonymous to words such as brutality, ferocity, cruelty, savagery, ruthlessness and heartlessness. You cannot play nice with your bad habits. Trying to manage them and ease yourself out of them will not work. You have to hate what you are doing wrong. While you are still enjoying it, it is ruling over you and you will never break free of it. But, once you are violent against it, and you begin to hate it, you do whatever it takes to defeat it. Then you become free.

What has this habit cost you? When you truly understand what you have lost because of this bad habit, you will understand that violence and letting go of it is the only solution! Go in this strength and set yourself free once and for all. Until when are you going to be a slave to this habit?

Let us help you. Contact us on rahab@uckg.org or call our 24H helpline on +44 (0)20 7686-6000. 

Monday, 17 August 2015

How to discipline your children.

Dear mums, today we are going to speak about education. Many times we associate this word with schools or with learning a skill, but the truth is, education involves many things. It involves learning good manners, respect, discipline, not overstepping other people's boundaries, and so on. All this begins at home. Our job as mothers is to teach our children what is right and wrong, so they will have the ability to fit in well with others in society. 

You have a duty to teach them

It’s certainly not an easy job to teach our children what is right and wrong, especially the older they get. But, we need to view it as a priority, because if we don’t teach them, who will? Many mothers choose to turn a blind eye when they see their children making mistakes or having a disrespectful behaviour. "She's still too young. She doesn't understand. Later she will learn," many seem to think. But the time to correct wrong behaviour is now, before that behaviour turns into a bad habit. It is our duty as mothers to make them understand their wrong behaviour.

Do not patronise them

We always have to tell our children the truth, but we need to do that with compassion and no accusation. You cannot patronise them and talk down to them. You have to speak to them in a way a friend would, so that they can be comfortable to listen to you and absorb what you are saying, and understand you. 

As mothers, we have authority over our children, but if we use an authoritative tone when disciplining them,  they will shut down and rebel, viewing us wanting to control them, instead of understanding that we love them and want the best for them.

Here are some of the mothers that were with us this week, together we are putting in practice this and this tips week we also are not going to be quiet we are going to speaking the truth for our children with wisdom and love, you can also join us every Sunday right after the 10:00 meeting and together we’ll learn more about being better mothers. See you there!