What to do when your children face problems.

Mothers in Prayer Group in our branch in Willesden Green

One of the most difficult things we mothers have to face is witnessing our children go through a hard time. Our maternal instincts kick in and we want to spare and protect them. But, unfortunately, difficulties come to everyone. So, how can you as a mother deal with your children's problems?

Compassion vs Sorrow

Ruling out indifference, we find that there are two ways we mothers can react when our children face problems - we can either feel sorrow or compassion towards them. What is the difference?

Sorrow is a feeling of deep distress caused by misfortune, and compassion is a  feeling of deep sympathy for another who is stricken by misfortune, accompanied by a strong desire to alleviate the suffering. What makes them different is sorrow is just a feeling, but compassion makes you want to take action against the problem. 

Be compassionate

We mothers generally have a sixth sense when it comes to our children and this intuition can often alert us that something is wrong, without them needing to say

a word. What should you do when you detect a problem? 

Times like these call for action. First of all, you should remain objective to understand what their problem is, without allowing your feelings to cloud your judgment. Practicing the communication skills we taught you will come in handy, should you need to have a conversation with your child about what's going on. 

Don't take over

Once you've identified the problem fully, the next step is to figure out how you can help your child, without taking over. Remember, you still want to teach them to be independent, so you don't want to solve problems for them, but guide them to solve their own problems under your careful watch.

There are situations in which you'll be able to help, guide or support them, but there are others in which you will not be abel to do anything about their problem. In cases like these, you can help them through your prayers and being next to them.

And is this act of faith and love that the mothers are putting in practice this week, we are going to do something to help our children instead of lamenting. 

We invite you to join us this Sunday after the 10:00am service to learn a new revelation. 

Did you know an ice bath can dry your nail polish faster?

There is nothing more annoying than spending a long time to apply your nail polish only to have it smudged at the end, because it didn't dry properly. So, how can you make sure you nail polish dries quickly on those days when time is not on your side? 

 Giving your nails in a dip in a bowl filled with iced water will dry them faster. Nail polish dries quickly in colder temperatures. So, the colder the water is the quicker your polish will dry. 

Putting Hands in the Freezer

Although this method will probably add numbers to your electric bill, the cold can thicken the polish while the circulating air evaporates the solvent.

Using a blow dryer or fan

Your blow dryer can dry more than your hair. Blow your nails using your dryer's coldest setting and they will be dry in no time! Just go easy on the potency settings, because you don't want to blow ripples into your polish.

Spraying your nails with cooking spray

Spray your nails completely with your cooking spray will have them dry fast. But, there should be a propellent in the list of ingredients. The propellent evaporates and drains the liquid in your nail polish faster. Let the spray sit for a minute or two, and then wash your hands of the oil. 

Recognise your strength.

Daiane Docothé and husband Tiago Decothé.

I remember hearing my teacher speak about the trajectory of a sperm once during a science lesson and it left me completely in awe. This made me look at myself differently and understand that nature begins as nature intends for us to proceed in life.

You were born a victor

Among millions of sperm, only one is able to successfully fertilize the egg in order for you to be born, defeating millions of contenders. How is it that someone who is born a victor can feel so defeated later on in life?

We see many people who are tired of living, some even contemplating suicide, because of the many difficulties they face. But, facing difficulty and overcoming is what you were born to do. Question is, in moments like these, how do you tap in this source of strength that you possess inside of you?

A source of strength

In a chase to fertilise the egg, the sperm cannot be distracted by the million problems around it. It's only focus is one, reaching the end - its focus is on the solution and not the problem. When things overwhelm you, shift your focus from what is going wrong and start focusing on what you would like to conquer. Live your dream day and night and do something towards it every day. Soon, victory will follow.

By Daiane Decothé.

Join us every Sunday at 5pm, at the Rainbow Theatre, N4 3NX, for meetings that will empower you and inspire you to reach your goals.

Understand your value as a woman.

This week's meeting was all about exclusive brands and expensive fruit. We asked our audience the following question: remembering your visit to the mall, how often have you set foot in the Prada store? Yet, how often do you visit other reasonably priced stores? 

Among all present, only one shared to have entered the Prada store once and came out without buying anything.

Why is it we never even bother going into these stores? It is because we know we can't afford to buy anything in the store. Only those who are willing to pay the price the store offers venture in.

You are of high value

The same should apply to you as a woman. You are of a high value, an exclusive property, and the men who show an interest in you should recognise that and be willing to pay a high price for you. However, this has not been the case with many women. 

With many, all it takes to win them over are a few words of flattery. "You're so beautiful. You make my heart race so fast. I'm crazy about you. Will you go out with me?" And, boom! That's it. She has fallen. 

Be exclusive - you are worth it!

While living in Japan, Claudia Brito remembers coming across a special bunch of grapes - the Ruby Roman grapes. The Telegraph recently reported of someone who paid  £5,000 at an auction for a bunch of these grapes. 

Claudia mentioned that in the supermarket, one was not allowed to even touch or smell these grapes. They were separated from the rest of the fruit. They were exclusive. In order to touch them or smell them, you had to buy them.

Make yourself similarly exclusive as a woman. When you make yourself easy to conquer, you also make yourself easy to discard. But, if a man has to work hard to conquer you and pay a high price for you, he will also value you as you value yourself. 

We are by no means putting price tags on us as women, just using simple analogies to drive the point home that when you realise how valuable you are, your standards rise and you inspire those around you to do the same and respect your value. 

Cheers to all valuable women out there!

How to communicate effectively with your children.

Dear mums, these last few weeks we have been learning about effective communication with our kids. As parents, our main goal is to make sure our kids understand what we are communicating to them and vice versa. Bearing in mind that children are all different, we need to respect their personalities and not force them to be like us or do things like we do. Understanding their personality helps us relate to them in an appropriate way. For example, if your child is easily distracted, you know that long talks will not do, because he or she will lose focus along the way, so the best way is to get creative and use analogies he can relate to, which will make him or her understand your point a lot quicker. 

Different ways of communicating

But today we want to stress that communication is much more than talking. We can communicate in many different ways:

• Through listening - making sure we understand what is being communicated to us.

• With gestures of affection - affection screams love; it reassures our children.

• Showing interest in what they like - it makes them feel like an important to you.

• Being sincere - it will help them to learn to respect boundaries.

• With our eyes and expressions - remember, our faces paint a picture!

When we manage to have this kind of relationship with our children, we will be the first person from whom they will seek help or come to clear any doubt. Effective communication leads to trust, respect and admiration.

Mothers in Prayer Group in Croydon.

Every week, the Mothers in Prayer Group gets together to learn how to give our best to our children. Join us in practicing this week's lesson and take time  to talk and listen to your child(ren) this week. And, come to share the results with us this Sunday, at the Rainbow Theatre, after the 10:00am service. See you there!

Did you know full-fat dairy is healthier for you that low-fat?

When many people think of maintaining a healthy life-style and a trim waistline, they tend to opt for semi-skimmed, low-fat or 0% fat dairy products, but recent studies are proving that full-fat dairy isn't the monster many think it is. Data from 16 different studies prove that people who eat whole fat dairy have a lower risk of developing obesity, type 2 diabetes or heart diseases. 

You lose important vitamins

Milk contains vital vitamins such as Vitamin A and Vitamin D, but what you may not know is that these are fat soluble. 

That means, your body needs fat to absorb them. Without the fat, they get flushed out of your system or out of the milk during processing.

You tend to eat more

Although it is true that reduced-fat dairy has few calories, it is not as filling as whole fat. So, many people continue to fill hungry after eating low fat dairy and this may lead to eating or drinking more to get yourself fuller, which will also increase the calorie intake. 

High sugar content

Although the grams of fat per serving may be reduced in reduced fat products, the sugar content is usually higher than the sugar content in whole fat products, so you end up consuming more sugar, leading to a rise in your blood sugar level.

Change your mentality

Now, instead of a skinny latté, ask for whole milk. It's even better when you make your own coffee at home. Opt for whole milk yoghurt, instead of the low-fat version, and for butter or ghee instead of margarine or butter spreads, and no reduced fat cheese either.

Happy healthy living!

AAY 009 - Cinnamon, Apple and Walnut Cake

On this week's All About You, Claudia Brito and Raquel Ouverney sit down with Love Talk Presenter, Helena Marques, who shows us how to make a delicious Cinnamon, Apple and Walnut cake and gives us the The Recipe for Love. Yummy!

What to do when you fall.

Article by Moti Bernardino

Although this happened more than four years ago, I can still remember it as clearly as if it were yesterday.

I was out and about in a park, when all of a sudden I heard this loud thud behind me, then a woman panicking over a crying baby. A few of us gathered around her, watching her fuss over her crying son, while the father watched the scene attentively. After a few minutes of watching in silence, the father just couldn’t take it anymore. It was now his turn to deal with the situation.

Over in a few seconds

He set the mother aside from the scene and called the child by name, so he could look at him. With a stern voice, he asked him, "Why are you crying? Dry your tears, you’re fine!" The child stopped crying immediately and did as he was told. Then the father told the mother to get on the bike and the two rode off again, as if nothing had happened. In a few seconds he defused that whole situation and brought a solution.

Crying will not change anything

What was his secret? Conviction! He did not allow his emotions (his worry) to get the better of him. He knew his child was fine and saw no need to keep feeding those emotions. And, that's what what we need to do when we fall in life. There will be times in our lives when problems will come our way, we’ll make mistakes and go through painful experiences. The longer you feed your emotions, concentrating on the problem, the longer you remain in that problem. What you need is to separate your emotions from the problem, assess what you to do in order to solve it, and put all your efforts into solving it. Crying will not change anything. 

We were all born with an incredible instinct of survival! It is just clouded sometimes by emotions. Let the survivor inside of you come out! Don’t give up on your dreams. Don't be defeated. Even if you were set back by a fall, dry off your tears and continue with your journey to success! 

If things are difficult for you and you can't do it by yourself, here's a promise you can count on... (Psalms 50:15)

When is violence allowed?

We've grown up learning that violence is not the solution to any problem and that we should avoid it at all costs, but in this week's meeting, we challenged the ladies present to be violent. Question is, when is violence allowed?

A vicious cycle

When you find yourself regretting, but keep going back to the same mistake, over and over again, it's time to get violent with yourself. You promise yourself you'll never watch pornography again, but a month later, there you are again, watching it. Then you start feeling guilty and you decide to stop, but a few weeks later, there you are again. This vicious cycle will never be broken unless you get violent with yourself. 

Deeply rooted habits

Pornography is but one example, there are many situations that warrant the need for violence - an affair with a married man, lying, malicious thoughts against your authorities, grudges, resentment, a hot temper and many more. Normally these bad habits are so deeply rooted, that only a violent action will uproot them. But, what exactly does it mean being violent with yourself?

Don't play nice

Violence is synonymous to words such as brutality, ferocity, cruelty, savagery, ruthlessness and heartlessness. You cannot play nice with your bad habits. Trying to manage them and ease yourself out of them will not work. You have to hate what you are doing wrong. While you are still enjoying it, it is ruling over you and you will never break free of it. But, once you are violent against it, and you begin to hate it, you do whatever it takes to defeat it. Then you become free.

What has this habit cost you? When you truly understand what you have lost because of this bad habit, you will understand that violence and letting go of it is the only solution! Go in this strength and set yourself free once and for all. Until when are you going to be a slave to this habit?

Let us help you. Contact us on rahab@uckg.org or call our 24H helpline on +44 (0)20 7686-6000. 

How to discipline your children.

Dear mums, today we are going to speak about education. Many times we associate this word with schools or with learning a skill, but the truth is, education involves many things. It involves learning good manners, respect, discipline, not overstepping other people's boundaries, and so on. All this begins at home. Our job as mothers is to teach our children what is right and wrong, so they will have the ability to fit in well with others in society. 

You have a duty to teach them

It’s certainly not an easy job to teach our children what is right and wrong, especially the older they get. But, we need to view it as a priority, because if we don’t teach them, who will? Many mothers choose to turn a blind eye when they see their children making mistakes or having a disrespectful behaviour. "She's still too young. She doesn't understand. Later she will learn," many seem to think. But the time to correct wrong behaviour is now, before that behaviour turns into a bad habit. It is our duty as mothers to make them understand their wrong behaviour.

Do not patronise them

We always have to tell our children the truth, but we need to do that with compassion and no accusation. You cannot patronise them and talk down to them. You have to speak to them in a way a friend would, so that they can be comfortable to listen to you and absorb what you are saying, and understand you. 

As mothers, we have authority over our children, but if we use an authoritative tone when disciplining them,  they will shut down and rebel, viewing us wanting to control them, instead of understanding that we love them and want the best for them.

Here are some of the mothers that were with us this week, together we are putting in practice this and this tips week we also are not going to be quiet we are going to speaking the truth for our children with wisdom and love, you can also join us every Sunday right after the 10:00 meeting and together we’ll learn more about being better mothers. See you there!

Did you know jogging can slow down your metabolism?

When we think of losing weight, the first thing that comes to mind is exercising. And, the preferred choice for many is jogging. But, jogging can slow down your metabolism, which will in turn slow down your weight loss.

Jogging can lead to losing muscle tissue

Depending on how long you jog, after 30 minute of jogging, your body begins to get fuel from your lean muscle tissue. And, because you need muscle to burn fat, the less muscle you have, the slower your metabolism gets and the less fat you burn. The secret to losing weight is adding two things to your work out.

Weight Training

Many women are afraid of weight training because they fear building muscles, but muscle actually helps you burn fat long after you've stopped exercising, when your body is in rest. So adding weight resistance training to your workout will boost your metabolism. 

If you are intimidated by all those weight resistance training machines in the gym, no need to worry. Your own body is a mean weight resistance training machine. Use your own body weight in exercises such as push-ups and crunches and voila! You're good to go. For a great workout at home, resistance bands also help.

High Intensity Interval Training

Add 10 sets of one minute sprints to jogging to create a high-intensity interval training (HIIT) workout. HIIT is a training technique in which you give all-out, one hundred percent effort through quick, intense bursts of exercise, followed by short, sometimes active, recovery periods. 

This type of training gets and keeps your heart rate up and burns more fat in less time.

Now, go on! Happy workout!

Are you trustworthy?

Trust can get you far with people. They can end up opening the doors of their hearts to you. But, the question is, how can you gain trust? 

Be reliable

You have to be a woman of your word! When you fail to do what you say you will do, you end up being unreliable and people lose their trust in you. We are constantly given opportunities to gain the trust of those around us. 

It is what we do with these opportunities that determines whether or not they can end up trusting us with more. If we are unreliable with the little we’ve been given, it would be naïve and unfair of us to expect to be entrusted with more. 

Can people trust you?

So, if you are struggling to have your parents, or your boss, or your spouse trust you, examine yourself and try to see what it is you do with the little trust they’ve given you. If your boss gives you a task, can he trust that you will carry it out as asked? Or does he need to be on your case, constantly calling you and observing you, demanding that you meet your deadline? 

Can your parents trust that you will meet your current curfew, or do they always have to be worried about you, because you are not home at the time that you’ve said you will be home? Does your husband not trust you with his money, because you do not stick to budget as agreed? It’s a hard truth to face, but if you are being kept on a tight leash where trust is concerned, it is likely that you have not done enough to earn that trust. Change that and people will trust you more.

A sign of true strength.

In this week's meeting, we tackled a popular culture of those who are of the faith - suffering in silence. Many think that confessing weakness and seeking for help is a sign of weakness, so they tend to keep problems to themselves and wrestle with them on their own. But, what has the Lord Jesus taught us?

Blessed are the poor in spirit

Poverty denotes dependence. When you are poor, you are not able to cope with your needs on your own. The poor need other people to help them survive. A person who is poor in spirit is not self-sufficient. She asks for help when things get too overwhelming for her. It is this poverty in spirit that leads us to depend on God and on the help of those who are our spiritual leaders. We gave a few examples of situations in which you should ask for help.

When to ask for help

• When you are heavily tempted to do what is wrong and are not coping with that temptation.

• When you are having marital problems and are losing your temper with your husband and your children and you don't know how to turn that situation around.

• When someone has hurt you very deeply and you are not able to move past it. 

• When you are jealous of others and can't shake off the jealousy.

These are but a few examples. There are many more. Fact is, if you have been battling a bad situation for a long time and it isn't improving or going away, you need help. Don't waste time fighting this battle by yourself. 

Even the strongest man who lived in this earth asked for help. When things got too much for the Lord Jesus in the Garden of Gethsemane, He cried out saying, "Father, if you are willing, please take this cup of suffering away from me. Yet I want your will to be done, not mine." (Luke 22:42) 

Asking for help is a sign of true strength. It shows an unwillingness to be defeated by a problem.

What has been bothering you? Let us help you before it's too late! To speak to one of our advisers, contact us via rahab@uckg.org or call our 24-hour Helpline on +44 (0)20 7686-6000.

How to strengthen your relationship with your children

Today is Monday and today we focus on the relationship between mothers and children. For a relationship to be successful, there needs to be compromise and personal sacrifices. This is no different in the relationship between parents and children.

Don't keep a record of wrongs

Following God's example, who is the model Parent, mothers need to forget their children's past. When you keep a record of their wrongs and keep reminding them of the mistakes they once committed, it impedes them from moving forward, just as accusing them shows that the mother hasn’t move forward. While we focus on our children's faults and mistakes, we turn a blind eye to their amazing qualities and this leads us to be intolerant with them.

Believe in their change

Learn to forgive them and believe that your children can change, learn from their mistakes and start doing things differently.

Tatiana Amaro now enjoys a beautiful friendship with her daughter

Meet Tatiana Amaro

Ten years ago I had to leave my country and come to the UK to seek a better life. I was forced to leave my daughter back home with my family.  She grew up very angry and she developed difficulties to communicate. We got farther and farther from each other.  I didn’t know what to do. So, every Sunday, I started participating in the Mothers in Prayer gatherings. I began investing in my relationship with my daughter.

Putting in practice the tips that I learned, I started seeing a difference, first in me and then in my daughter. Today we are friends. She shares with me everything in her life and such a relationship of companionship, which can't be shaken, even when we are far.  

If you want to join us, we meet every Sunday after the 10am service, at the Rainbow Theatre, in Finsbury Park - London,  and we learn how to practice precious tips to enjoy a close relationship with our children.

AAY 007 - What does friendship mean...

In this week's studio chat we meet with two sets of friends Ruth Nunes and Marcia Paulo, and Rita Oliveira and Helena Marques and we give them a quiz on how well they know each other. Find out who won the quiz. We also discuss what friendship means to them. Also joining us in the discussion is Sonia Pang from Ireland. Enjoy!

Did you know apples are better at waking you up than coffee?

We've always heard that an apple a day keeps the doctor away, and research is proving this to be true. Apples can help you wake up more effectively than coffee. Because of the caffeine it contains, coffee gives you a quick boost of energy whenever you need it, but apples can do a better job as energy boosters. 

Fructose vs caffeine

Apple contain fructose, which is a natural sugar that can wake you up naturally and help keep you going for longer than coffee. As opposed to caffeine, fructose moves slower through the body and reaches hard to reach areas, which helps wake up parts of your body that would otherwise continue sleeping.

Other benefits of apples

And, unlike caffeine, apples don't cause a crash in your blood sugar level either, so it will wake you up and keep you awake for longer. This makes the benefits of apples trample those of coffee. And, to top it all, apples contain carbohydrates which are your body's source of energy, so they keep you going for longer. And, let's not forget the fibre they contain, which slows the rate at which your body absorbs sugar. 

Source

How to make your overnight guests feel at home

Although it is exciting, having guests visit overnight can be quite daunting. So, how can you prepare ahead and make sure you make them feel welcome?

Anticipate their needs

Preparing ahead is key. Avoid your guests having to watch you scramble around to accommodate them. This may leave them feeling like an inconvenience. Provide them with a fresh set of bed linen, pillows and an extra blanket. Put flowers in a vase to lift up the mood of the room and have the side lamps switched on for when they enter the room.

The guest toilet should have a set of towels for each guest and a basket with toiletries they will need. Don't forget to leave a few essential cleaning products in the bathroom and to stock on toilet paper, as it can be embarrassing for your guests to have to request these. Here's a video of our talented Carla Vieira showing you how you can make the toilet paper look beautiful for your guests. 

Small details make a difference

Include them in conversations and invite them to share your space with you. Don't leave them feeling like they have to lock themselves in the room. Also think of small details such as leaving breath mints in the drawer and a bottle of water with a glass by the bed. Guests staying long should be provided with slippers and a robe. 

Share essential things with them, like a spare key of the house, the wifi password, books and dvds that will interest them, the alarm code, phone chargers (if you know the make of their phones), a jewellery tray on the dressing table and an alarm clock. Anything you can think of to make their life easy will go a long way.

Feed them well 

You certainly don't want your guests starving, so make sure to feed them heartily. Plan your meals ahead and shop adequately. Find out about their tastes and preference prior to their arrival and make sure to cater to those tastes in the meals you prepare. However, you don't want meal preparation to take long and steal your time away from your guests. 

Remember, they are there to visit you and not an empty lounge with a TV. So, wake up early to get a head start on meals, while they sleep and be available for them when they wake up.

Help them create new memories

Arrange for places to go see, if they are out of town guests, or new restaurants to visit. Do something fun, which will take them out of their routine a create a special memory of your visit for them. Make your visit one they will never forget. However, make sure not to go over budget and end up in debs.

Enjoy your guests!

Are your dreams real or just a fantasy?

Women's Meeting at the Rainbow Theatre - London, UK.

This week's meeting was the second session of the the second Parts of Me series, which is focusing on bringing to existence what does not exist. In the first session we spoke about being clear of what you want. One can't pursue a dream that hasn't come to mind yet. 

Ludymilla sharing how she pursued her dreams against all odds

Women have very fertile imaginations

This week we spoke about being able to differentiate between real dreams and fantasies. Women have very fertile imaginations and often get caught in fantasies. It is common to find a woman unfairly comparing her partner to characters in movies and soap operas and getting upset when he doesn't live up to them, or still dreaming about the ex-boyfriend who has now settled down in another relationship, and what about those who get involved with married men, imagining them leaving their wives to settle with them.

Is yours a dream or a fantasy?

Your dreams should be unique.

You may ask, "How can I tell whether the dream I have in mind is real or a fantasy?" By measuring the effort you've put into this dream. Just like an athlete beats all odds and trains meticulously throughout the year for a tournament he believes he can win, when your dream is real, you do the same. You are not waiting for a fairytale ending. You have a conviction inside of you, which leads you to action. 

Put fantasies behind, as they stand in the way of true dreams. Magic doesn't exist! Dreams take hard work and need to based on the foundation of your convictions. We finalised by advising those present never to build dreams out of comparing themselves to others. We are all unique and so should our dreams be. Dream your own dreams, and not someone else's!